With heartfelt Thanksgiving and Praise in my heart and on my Lips to I proclaim the wonders of God working in my life! How he rescued me from the pit of despair and brought his servant to a new life in Christ Jesus. I was a slave to sin, now no more, for Our Lord has won the Victory, though the fight lingers on, and not until I rest safely and securely with God in His Presence will the race be won.

I owe him thanks for a wonderful Job with the IRS that was his given by his hand. I had only 1 interview while I was unemployed for 9 months. I serve the people of America with the utmost respect and dignity working hard to perform my daily duties as if I were doing them for God. My manager, I am obedient to in all things, for as does God, she knows what is best at the time, though I do not always see the big picture. I now pray the Litany of Humility which has brought forth fruit as I cut ties with myself and my own wants to think about those around me. I know I am miniscule in the eyes of God, I love how St Teresa of Avila called us “Worms” That’s about right. I’m a worm, were it not for the Grace of God, I would still be wallowing in the depths of sin.

Our Lord has bestowed upon me a great blessing; The ability to provide for my family. My student loans are on an income based repayment through the government. I can now afford to payoff the things I need to, like my other student loans and my car and other things Our Lord knows I need to do. Praise be Always and Forever the Holy Name of Jesus Christ!

It was said by Archbishop Dolan “We are not anti-anybody, we are Pro-Marriage.” How much do we forget that. We are for Beauty, Good, Truth,  and Unity. These are what we fight for. These are what we will die for! Die to ourselves. die for our friends, even if it means giving up what we love and enjoy. Would we give up sports if it means that we would save our friends’ souls from eternal damnation? We must help our brothers and sisters who are dying and are mortally wounded spiritually. We must do penance for them if they will not do it for themselves. Pray the Rosary, go to daily mass and offer mass and communions for them. Become holy, read the lives of the saints, what better ones to read than the doctors of the church. There’s only 33 of them. With the great resources online, fill your ebook readers and kindles with these great works given by God for the building up of the Kingdom. We are nothing by ourselves, but as St Teresa of Avila said “One Person plus God is an Army!” We need only to grow closer to him and pass that love to others.

Holy Mother Church truly does know what she’s talking about by chastity within marriage. I can tell you first hand that I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my marriage. Remember that Our Lord said “My yoke is easy, and my burden light.” Is it easy, shut your face! it’s rediculously difficult, but is it worth it to be an example, even when temptation is there to go against the teachings of the church, but I never again want to lose the Holy Spirit who resides in my soul and helps me to make the right decisions in my life. Thank you Holy Spirit, you changer of hearts, Spirit of the Living God, Breath of God, move within my soul and enkindle in my heart the fire of your Love.


as I suffer….

January 11, 2010

my thoughts turn to you, O Lord.  I am not yet able to love perfectly as you. Teach me, O Lord, to love with every ounce of my energy, to give everything to others, that I may be left with nothing but you. For it is when I am weak that you are made strong. For you conquered whole cities. The mighty Jericho has fallen. So may it be with my soul. Break down the walls of division between myself and you, O Lord. For with you all things are possible. Meditate on the Lord’s Suffering. He could endure, yet we are scared of a little pain. I suffer for you! With you! When I am rejected, know that it was you I turned to, O Lord. For only in God is my soul at rest. In him comes my salvation. “listening now to John Michael Talbot Only in God.”


June 23, 2009

The First sin Satan got Adam & Eve to commit. It’s amazing how often he tries to trick us into that slippery slope of Pride. It’s kind of a teeter totter that he uses. He will either try to get us to think that We can handle a little bit. We can go a little farther. We can look at this person in that way, we can look at these pictures, they’re not that bad. Pride! Pride also comes in the form of refusing to admit there is a problem. I’m too embarrassed, I’m too proud to confess this sin. How twisted of a thing he uses to manipulate something as pure as our conscience. Pride can also look like, well you’ve already gone this far, might as well do it again. Why not, already done it once. How easy it is to befall these temptations. Humility, One of the greatest virtues I hope to aspire to. Humility in all things. Often times I want to be prideful, boast. That attitude is of the World. To be a servant to all, to give of one’s self. To lower myself that others may be raised up. Would I like to have? At times, less and less it seems. Only in God is my soul at rest. If I keep looking to things to have to be happy, It will never come.

Humility, like that of Our Blessed Mother. She showed true Humility to say Yes to the Angel Gabriel. Jesus. The one who owns the Whole Universe humbling Himself to be born in a Stable when he could have had a palace. I guarantee if he had been born in a palace, he would not have been able to reach the poor, the sick, the downtrodden. Maybe that’s why I don’t want more than I have. I want to reach people. If I were rich and famous, who could relate? May God be glorified in my life. His life ended being punished for something he did not do. I can relate. But sometimes more like the thieves. I deserve the punishment I do. He did nothing. I know I felt like that as a kid. I didn’t do it half the time. Ok, less than that.

When I listen to music especially rap, so much do I hear about trying to be the Biggest, baddest, Respect. What if they were Humble? Humility like St Francis. O grant O Lord that I may never seek, so much to be consoled as to console. To be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love with all my heart. I heard a song on the radio the other day…when I grow up I want to be rich, I want to be famous, etc. I’m pretty sure all that stuff was shown to Jesus when he was in the Desert. I want none that the World has to offer. I want God. The Peace that comes from God. Humility is one way to get closer to him. When I go before Him, So much do I humble myself before him. My sins are ever present, even of the past, I know they have been forgiven, but that I may do penance and make it up to God, not just for my sins, but to make reperations for the sins of others that they make against God. I am but one person, but through me, may others be brought closer to God. A living witness (who bloggs sometimes)

The early church was a marvelous thing. Lead by the Holy Spirit, oh how beautiful was their faith. They were friends of the man Jesus. Paul (Saul) never knew him, and definitely not in the same way that the disciples knew him. Yet he went from being a Christian Killer to spreader of the Gospel. I am amazed how the Spirit lead them out of trouble, guided their steps. All Praise and Glory be to the Father, the Son and the HOLY SPIRIT. There is no reason why faith so vibrant should not be held by people today. Stand up Brothers and Sisters. Be Strong in the Lord. Fear Not, for I am with you. Words our lord spoke to his friends. Even in the face of unbelievable odds, their faith in God did not waiver. Nor has mine. I am determined to tell the world of the Glory that God has done in my life and lead others to Him who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

As I look around where I live, and the places I have been, there are so many people who do not know the Truth about God. The Love He has for us, the lengths that he went to show us. It is not easy at times. But it will get easier. As our love for God grows, our desire to please him and not break his Commandments, so as to offend him will increase. I don’t know how, but it does. It has in my life.

There are many obstacles that keep us from him. Pride first and foremost. I know what is best. Who do they think they are telling me what to do, how to live. I don’t agree with this rule, or that rule. I can do this or that because It will be ok. This is our pride. Satan wants us to think we have all the answers. What did he say to Adam and Eve in the Garden? “Surely he did not mean you will die.”  He is very subtle and cunning. He will not work out in the open, he wants to make you think you are in charge and you know what is best. God gave us Commandments that were rules to follow, he sent his Son to fulfill the Old Testament and give us a way to Heaven. He does not want us to get to Heaven. We have already overcome by the work God’s only Son has done, with his Passion, Death, and Glorious Resurrection on the Cross. This can be overcome with the help of the Grace of God. Humility, Obedience, but most of all Love. Prayer will help to dissolve pride.

I was praying last week and thought about a saying that I wanted to adapt to my life when difficult situations arise “Would you do this for me?” Yes Lord, I will gladly do it for you. I love you. Lord, Help me to change my life to make it an acceptable offering to you. Amen.

What If…..

May 27, 2009

What if …….people put as much energy and enthusiasm into Worshipping and Praising God as they do at sporting events, and concerts?

I really can only dream. I put my heart and soul into every Mass. Why? Because I believe. I know Jesus spoke the truth. I believe, why not do it with a whole heart? Every Prayer I utter, every song I sing, with every fiber in my body, I try to give Glory to God. Especially during Mass, when he is the most present, Body, Blood, Soul, & Divinity. I sing, but I can not emit the joy and thanksgiving with my human body that I feel. I pray that some day I will find a group of people that we can worship the Lord, “Shout to Lord”, I mean REALLY SHOUT!!! At mass, many people say the words at mass, If they even do that. It pains my heart, as I know it does My Lord’s, the ingratitude, the callousness with which he is treated. My Lord, let my heart be moved to sorrow before I treat you this way.

My age has nothing to do with the Zeal I feel towards Our Lord. It took many lessons learned and experiences to come to the point where I am now. I would have done it sooner, but I was very broken. The sins of my family and the sins of my own, seperated me from God, and God needed to take time to repair such severe damage. Everything happens according to God’s plan. It also happens in His time. I now know God and am determined to spread my knowledge of him through every means possible. At this point I am open to the way in which the Lord leads me. May my hear always be open to hear His voice.

The feast of Pentecost is coming up, on Sunday, it means much more to me this day than in any of the days past put together. I am preparing by reading scripture and have been reading it to my family, as we go to bed. Oh what a powerful, strengthening, and gracious means you gave to us at Pentecost with which to do the work of the Heavenly Father.

Dear Holy Spirit, Fill my mind with your Truth and my heart with your Love. Amen (Pray before reading scripture)

John Chapter 15 & 16

May 19, 2009

Though I am not a bible scholar, I pray that my thoughts on this chapter may be satisfactory to the Magisterium, the teaching authority of the Church.

For those who are open to hearing the Word of God, this dialogue means a great deal and is at times very difficult to swallow.

Chapter 15 verse 5 to me makes me think of Being in the “State of Grace.” It is this great union that allows God to work through us. When we choose to sever that relationship it is because we have not followed what he said in verse 9 & 10. We have heard it but how many of us understood. I for one never did. We must remain in a state of Grace. It is the key to Freedom, the key to Union with Christ. This will allow us to do God’s will in our lives.

He gave us a road map with a how and why to live. If as Christians this is what we believe, (The catholic church has the authority to interpret scripture. They kept it safe for a couple thousand years.) Then we must Deny ourselves, take up our cross, and Follow Him!

The world will not see us. They will not understand. They may never understand.

There is One Truth. No matter how you try to disect it, turn it, rearrange it, or even reword it, there remains one way things happen. We know these things beause the Holy Spirit illuminates them. He has convicted my heart. He has guided me in what I do. I feel an inclination to read something. I have the choice to follow the feeling or not. When I have followed, it has brought about the Glory of God. When I have had the urge to read scripture and have done so, he has shown me insights to it that I otherwise would never have known. I forget in scripture where Jesus says something about no one comes to me unless the Father draws him. He also says that only God can reveal things to whom he wishes to reveal them. I thank you God that even though I am a sinner, you have blessed me with insight.


May 18, 2009

It is time that I now present my thoughts on this fragile fleeting life in the hopes that those who read this will be guided towards the one in whom I find my rest. In a world where there is such despair, ignorance, death, and longing, that there is Hope. There are many who have not heard, or have not listened. The Harvest is Many, but the Laborers are few. I feel there is no other means at this time for me than to use this as a way of communicating. I hope that those who read this will be able to use this as a guide to see that becoming a Saint is possible. We hold Saints in high esteem, but we seem to forget that they are people just like us.  They were tempted, they fell, they were able to listen to God calling them, and by the grace of God, they Overcame their sins and Chose to do God’s will, leading them to Sainthood. It seems so lofty a goal, so difficult a path…. But I tell you brothers and sisters, We do not go on this journey Alone. Not at all. The Holy Sprit guides us. Is sainthood possible? IT IS POSSIBLE! We must have faith and believe. We hold them in high esteem that we may imitate them and become like them. We need faith and hope that we can acheive it. The devil does not want us to think we can do it. We need only to have faith and believe. We must have Trust and Faith that Jesus will do what He said he will do. If we have Faith we can move mountains. I have seen God working in my life. I know he is working. I pray that each and every one of you will listen and follow His voice. I have mountains to move.  Satan is in a battle for souls. He’s not taking any souls I can grab first. I’m preparing for battle. Our Victory has already been Won! Jesus secured the victory. Praise God! Glory to God in the Highest! Alleluia!


May 18, 2009

Hosanna! Glory to God in the Highest! Blessed is he that comes in the name of the lord! My sins are ever before me! Oh how I have sinned against you My Lord! I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof. I thank you for all that you have done in my life, are doing in my life, and will do in my life that all may be for the greater Glory of God. Thank you for all the prayers you have answered. Thank you for giving us your Son, for through him Salvation has come. The only thing I ask is that I may do your Holy and Perfect will. Please allow me to see the path to take so I may take that path for your Glory. Amen